Life cycle of a typical Tam-brahmin

This post has been control c'd and control v'd from my friend's blog. Nevertheless, its my story too :P

Born and bought up in mylapore(Chennai) for 23 continuous years.Brief stint in north India where he learns partial Hindi.
Parents works in a government bank.
Schooling in DAV or Padma seshadri with enviable academic record.
Grows up doing Poojas, visiting temple,grandmas house.
Recognizes other Tam Brahms and guesses their name correctly without any prior introduction.
Hears great things being said about him and the bright future awaiting him.
Never touches Non veg.Ate egg for the first time in 8th standard for health reasons arguing that it was veg.
Plays excellent and technically correct cricket strokes replicating Rahul Dravid and makes next street Ambujam’s mom wonder how our man can excel in both studies and sports.
Neighbour house Meena aunty wants her son parthasarathy to emulate our man but our man’s parents never feel satisfied.
Visits Pizza hut for the first time where he sees modern people. After this our man fights at home and enrols himself out of the Veda class and stops learning Carnatic Music as he feels it is outfashioned.
9th std comes and our man is told how important career is. Immediately discusses this issue with his bench mate Subramanian(Class topper) and enrolls for Brilliant Tutorials IIT-JEE course.
Clears IIT screening with ease but Misses mains by a small margin.
UG in SSN, CEG, NIT Trichy,SVCE or Bits pilani.
Topper in the first sem, an arrear in the 6th sem bringing shock to the entire family for the first time in 20 years.
Develops a crush on a girl in UG but unfortunately she eats non veg and hence is not able to take it forward.
Leaves doing Sandhyavadhanam, visits temple for prasad and girls and salutes god on the way back with a friendly “I know you ll take care of me” kind of a smile.
Adjusts the white thread and realises how uncomfortable it is to wear it.
All cousins in MIT, Perdue,IIMs, UPSC toppers etc.Gets calls from them asking when u r expected in U.S.
Prepares for CAT and GRE because of family pressures while wearing the ID card of a software company.
Gets calls from IIM I, K, SP,XL,Texas Austin,Pen state and gets into one of these . Misses IIM A,B, C causing some dissapointment to the family.
Has had enough,doesnt want to be fooled anymore, wants to end the rat race and hence gives a damn to marks and competition.Our man Starts social loafing.
People around him in M.B.A seem to be working hard but our man listens to Gita Shibir and says -”Happiness is inside and not outside”. He goes around quoting the gulab jamun example which swamiji had explained but no one listens to him.
Our man gets upset and feels- “What are these people upto. Why are people so desperate and materialistic in life”?.
Looks at only south indian girls but slowly starts developing a taste for north indian girls.Slowly comes out of his conservative nature and shakes hands with girls for the first time.
Cousin marries a Gujarati and our man is all charged up to do something similar in life.
Almsot at the End of Year 1 of M.B.A. Our man finds himself lost in life. No girl friends.Our Man meets another tam brahm and heaves a sigh of relief with an expression which says-”I know what u went thru in your life till now.” He reassures him saying “Lets wait for the junior girls to arrive!!!”

This is the partial story of Unsung heroes of our nation- Tam Brahms( Also called Curd Rice).

Looking forward to rest of the story :)

The unimpressive cycle of making a positive impression

Your whole life, I believe is being spent in striving to impress somebody or the other, other than your own self.

When you are a toddler, you try to stand up so that when you do so your parents become elated and applaud. You crave for their attention. You strive to make a positive impression. As you grow up, when you start talking, when the first syllable props out of your mouth, again you do so to impress the people around you. This time you are more popular, for you can walk around, hence your neighbours join your parents to become the audience whom you strive to impress.

Then one fine day your parents decide that it’s the time to admit you in a school. In days of severe competition as today, you have an interview and some schools also have a written test – an entrance test to be precise, for a 3 year old. In 1989, I had an interview myself to get into my school. My school was an esteemed one in Chennai and that was the first and the last interview of my life that I successfully cracked. For at that time you do not think much, you behave in the best possible way so as to impress the interviewer (a teacher or principal in this case). As you grow old, your thought patterns are marred by logic, and you do not dance to the interviewer’s tunes and hence, fail to impress him. Anyway that’s a different story altogether. Now let’s move on.

Now you are 3-4 years old, your parents have got bored of you, and they decide to have another kid. In marketing terms, they are trying out a new product. When customer switches a brand the earlier brand tries to retain the customer. This gives way to competition. And hence arise a series of customer retention strategies, road shows etc. to impress the customer and enhance his brand loyalty. So on similar lines, you as a 3-4 year old throw tantrums and try to catch your parents’ attention which seems to be going towards your new born bro/ sis. In case you are a single son, do not worry, you invariably have a smarter neighbor who impresses your parents better than you are able to. And you again strive to get their attention and do everything possible to impress them.

Now that you have grown older – say around 10-12, and have succeeded in getting equal attention as your sibling, you try to expand your business. You venture into foreign markets i.e. your school. Your new customers are your teachers. Whoaa!!! This time you have as many as 40 odd competitors from diverse backgrounds. Only the topper is acknowledged and the rest are in the also ranked category. So you along with the other 40 products in the market, compete to get that one medal from the principal by impressing him. It’s not just a onetime affair during the exams. At every class, you raise your hands and try to answer the maximum number of questions your teacher asks, so that she is impressed by your studiousness and appreciates you. You feel elated for you have been singled out and appreciated from the rest of the class. You strive hard to top in every possible activity. You slog and take part in all the quizzes, elocution competitions, recitation competitions, speech competitions; some even manage to excel in sports; all so that someone will come and give a pat on your back and tell you –“You are amazing, intelligent, hardworking and talented”. And you feel – “Wow!!”.

This continuous till you reach your 10^th and 12^th standard, you have played your cards well so far and have strived to impress everybody you have met in your life so far. Now suddenly you are writing the board exam and you have competitors from the entire school (200 students for school 1^st) and sometimes the entire country for board level ranking. You strive harder for minimizing the margin between the total marks and the marks you score.

Now that you have 17 years of experience in impressing the smaller sections of the society – home, neighbors and school; you are prepared for the next stage of college. All this seasoning so far is not without a reason – they are to prepare you to make the ultimate impression. You give the entrance exams to get into the supposedly the best colleges of the country. Some prepare for over 2 years to get into the premiere institutes, so that they, their family members and in future may be his wife and kids can brag that – I am/ my son is / my hubby is/ my dad is/ from XYZ College. In an Indian scenario, the XYZ considered worth bragging is invariably an IIT.

At this stage you can fall into one of the 2 categories – succeeded to impress/ failed to impress your family, friends and relatives. This depends on the kind of college you get in and the kind of college your near and dear are impressed with. Whether you manage to impress or not, you are ready to make your next positive impression on someone.

At this stage it’s the seemingly most beautiful girl of your class. The entire college of 500 odd people in your batch is trying to woo her. Now who among you is going to impress her is the game. So you be good at studies, so that you may get an opportunity to teach her or study with her; you try to be chivalrous so that she turns back gives you a secret glance during the lectures which sets your friends stomachs on fire; you try to become the head of all the committees possible in the college so that you can allot her a task where she can work only with you etc. All so that someone may come to you and say – “You are very good man, that’s why she is impressed with you, none of us stand near you”. [I don’t have a girl’s version of this, for I have never been a girl.]

Then finally one day you succeed to impress her and she agrees to a committed relationship with you. And you find there is a never ending list of Dos that you gotto do to impress her more. So you sacrifice all your time with friends, your games, you change the way you think (or some forget to do a sane thinking) all to impress her. And at this stage when you have fully changed yourself to impress her, you start preparing her to impress your parents.

Now that you have committed a sin (I mean a kin), you have to impress your people back home in a big way with your career, so that they will marry you to the girl of your dreams as compensation. Why a compensation? Of course right! All life you have strived to impress them and you need a reward for yourself.

So now you have a new set of people to impress upon. Those whom you now impress would get you an impressive career. I have always wondered why carrier and career have almost similar pronunciations but different spellings. It’s now that I realized that a career doesn’t carry you anywhere. A miscarriage is inevitable in ones career. Hence the different spelling is rightly justified. Anyway, back to career, you strive to impress the job interviewers and at some stage you manage to impress someone who gets you a job. And every day in job, you work hard to impress your boss and you have a 1000 co-workers competing for the same. You can simply do your job and get your salary; but NO; because your target audience thinks you have to climb up the corporate ladder. Hence you try to impress your seniors so that you are promoted so that you impress your target audience (this has become too large now – family, friends, friends of friends, families of friends, friends of friends of friends etc.)

But somewhere when you were trying to impress so many people the girl whom you managed to impress has changed her impression about you. Is this fair? Of course it is. Come on this is perfectly justified. Dint you do the same when you had a new born sibling? Were you not angry with your parents because they gave more attention to the infant? After all, your parents were also trying to impress the new born so that it would try to impress them all its life. So when you were trying to impress your large target audience, your girl felt left out and got her a new attention giving machine – I mean another boy friend.

I know you are tired now. You try to think if all this striving to impress somebody is worth it at all. You wanna break free. But you can’t. Because, if you break free, the society will call you a coward, and all those whom you managed to impress all these 25 odd years will give up on you. People will think you have become insane and pity you for the same. So now you decide to show them that you are a fighter. You strive harder than ever and get promoted in your firm; manage to get a fatter pay.

Now all those whom you have impressed try to get you an impressive girl. You have an impressive job and an impressive pay. You meet the girl’s dad and try to impress him that you would be the best son-in-law he would ever get. You try to so the same with the wife would be. And finally you manage to impress somebody and tie the knot.

You think it’s all over. But it’s your turn as a parent now. You fall into this unimpressive cycle of making an impression. There is no redemption from the same.

Having seen everything from the son’s or daughter’s or student’s or boyfriend’s or girlfriend’s perspective; you get to see a new perspective - a parent’s perspective.

You give birth to a kid and have the pressure to make him most impressive. You put him in the most impressive school so that you can tell your colleague – “My son studies in the PQR School”. You prepare him and make him stand first in the class, so that you can tell your colleague –“My son is the 1^st rank in his class”.

The cycle continuous till your son reaches 25 odd and starts thinking what he has been doing. At this stage you start impressing your son. You do that so that your son can tell his friends – “My dad is the best in the world, he is chill”. You wear a new face and tolerate everything he does so that he can come to you and say – “Dad I love you, you are the best”. When he gets married your target audience increases. You have multiple reasons to impress your son now. You are partially scared he might take his wife’s side. So you play safe and also start working towards impressing your daughter-in-law; so that when you grow older she doesn’t conspire to throw you out of home. Then you have a grandson, you call him all pet names and try to impress him so that he may play a few games with you and be with you.

Finally you are old now. You know you have a little time left. So go to scriptures and start reading them. It is because you now think God is your next customer. So you prepare to impress him.

Now let’s make 3 columns. Column 1 contains all the work you have actually done in your life. Column 2 contains all the work you should have done in your life so as to impress all the people around you. Column 3 contains all the work you would have wanted to do in your life to impress your own self. Column 3 is optional – you might or might not have figured out what to have in that column. At times in your efforts to make Column 1 à Column 2, you would never have thought about a Column 3. But some people do succeed in finding their Column 3, at some point in their life. Whether they work towards it or not is a different issue altogether. Let’s find the Karl Pearson’s co-efficient of correlation between the data of Column 1 and Column 2; Column 1 and Column 3; Column 2 and Column 3. In most cases the value would be between -0.5 to -1, indicating a negative correlation.

Okay, these are my thoughts. But why the hell should I publish this in my blog? It’s because a couple of my friends would appreciate me for what I have written. I would succeed in impressing a few of them.

Now when am I going to break free?

Where is my freedom of speech and expression?

1997 – I was an 11 year old, studying in 7^th standard in my school. It was my Civics period. My Civics teacher was taking a class on the Indian Constitution. She taught us that our Constitution provided us with 6 fundamental rights, one among them being ‘Right to freedom’. Under this particular right, we were provided with 7 fundamental freedoms – the first one being ‘freedom of speech and expression’. She also read out the preamble to our constitution – "We the people of India....resolved...to secure to all its citizens ....LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship;...". I cannot forget the pride in the teacher’s voice and the gleam on her face when she was taking this class – she mentioned India had the largest democracy of the world, and people possessed a lot of freedom. Such luxuries were not a reality in communist countries or in the pre-independence India.

1998/99 – The Polyester Prince – Biography of Dhirubhai Ambani banned from circulation in India. The book exposes the holy nexus between the protagonist and the Indian Government. It shows how Dhirubhai managed to control and subjugate the press, bring down a Central Government and bribed Politicians to obtain legislations in his favour. Ban in India is believed to be due to proximity of Mukesh Ambani to the present Government.

2005 – Gujarat – The movie ‘Parzania’ is banned in the state of Gujarat – a tight slap on the face of our freedom of speech and justice. The movie is based on Dara Mody and family, whose son (Azhar Mody) is missing since the massacre during the 2002 communal riots. And there were several such families in reality.

2008 – Desh Dhrohi – The Bhojpuri film was banned from being screened in the Mumbai theatres. The movie was due for release immediately after the MNS menace in Mumbai. The film depicts the antagonistic/ unwelcoming attitudes towards North Indians in Maharashtra (Mumbai).

2009 – The worst of all – Jaswant Singh’s book ‘Jinnah: India- Partition- Independence’ has triggered such a hue and cry, to the extent of such a senior politician like Jaswant Singh being expelled from the party. Worse, the book has been banned throughout Gujarat.

These are incidents, just to name a few; and there would be many more for sure.

A few thoughts about the last mentioned episode – the BJP has expelled Jaswant Singh from the party, a member who has been involved with the party right from its inception.

All Jaswant did was write a book – a collection of facts, which he has researched on – which needs clear reading, appreciating and debating, for none of us were really present at the time of India’s independence, or Jinnah’s/ Nehru’s/ Patel’s/ Gandhiji’s time. All that we know are what we have read in ths history textbooks. This leads us to another issue which has been raised many a times – the Govt. tampering with the NCERT textbooks. The new NCERT history textbooks defame Bhagat Singh as a terrorist, and have made a fleeting 4 line mention of Chatrapathi Shivaji – pushing him to insignificance. With this ever-changing history of ours, I wonder how much of what I read in my history books were actually true.

Back to the issue of BJP – As it is the party has exposed a lot of weakness within itself, and this episode only worsens the image of the same. It has made a fool of itself, exposed its intolerance and emphasized its fanaticism. Jaswant’s statements in an interview – “…In 30 years time organisations, people change. I think the signal aspect of change that has come, which I have shared with my colleagues, including the RSS,--that what has changed in the nature of the BJP is the taste of power. Up till the extent of struggle for power, the BJP was an organisation of flame--like purity. Power tarnished it…” further denigrates the image of the party. I wonder if the UPA is partying witnessing these.

A word about our elections – a multi party system that we possess in our country, a concept of simple majority, a coalition system of Government, with rampant corruption and booth trafficking – I wonder if our right and duty to vote has any impact on the state. For a long time our governance has been dominated by the Congress party, with the BJP showing some challenge in the last decade. But now, or at least as of now, there is not even an outside chance for a third front, leave alone the fourth one. With this weakening of BJP – I wonder if our democracy’s watchwords – for, by and of the people Government will ever be true; for where is the choice the people have.

A quote from Jaswant Singh, during his interview to CNN IBN’s Rajdeep Sardesai sums it up perfectly – “…Have come to a situation in the country where thinking, research, reading, writing, discussing, debating, disagreeing on issues, on written material is taboo. It would be a very sad India; it would be a very dark India…

The Bhel Puri Consultant

I have coined a new term - "Bhel Puri Consultant".

Its been over 2.5 months since a friend of mine joined a company. He has worked on roughly 5-6 tasks, tasks which are mutually exclusive and collectively 'in'exhaustive. 2 of them have been completed successfully, and the rest are hanging in air.

A Bhel Puri Consultant is one like this, whose work is not defined, whose mandate in the company is not sure to anyone, but the designation is 'Consultant, Marketing Consultant etc.' with perceived meanings. Such profiles are common in extremely small companies, with no sound products, no structure and with no process in flow. After working for a period of time, when you look back, you will notice that your work experience looks like a bhel puri you eat on roadside chat shops. You will not be able to find a connection between the ingredients - all unrelated (and hopefully harmless) edibles are mixed thoroughly till they lose their individual identity.

The only difference between a Bhel Puri Consultant and the recipe which is eaten is this - bhel puri tastes good has a good market value, its a volume game (priced low and sold to large consumers); whereas a Bhel Puri Consultant doesn't taste good, has low market value and his CV goes to the bin.

Kannathil Mutham Ittaal

Eyakathukku.. Mani Ratnam
Vasanuthukku..Sujatha
Padalkalukku..Vairamuthu
Isaikku.. A R Rahman

'Kannathil Mutham Ittaal' is one such movie where we witnessed this dream combo , not to forget the exemplary cast - Madhavan, Simran (at her ravishing best), Nandita Das, Pasupathi etc.

This post in definitely not meant to be a review of this 2002 movie, but has found its place in my blog 'coz of my awe inspired admiration for everything that was in the package called ‘Kannathil Mutham Ittaal’ – an excellent story line that brought out the plight of war hit, innocent Sri Lankan Tamils & Sinhalese in the most natural way; the amazing background scores and lyrics; the positioning of the songs at the right junctures; the dialogues etc. etc.

The lyrics of two particular songs have made me fall on my knees with intense love and admiration for the language called Tamizh (Tamil).

Scene 1:
Simran accepts Madhavan’s proposal to marry her. She has been waiting for this moment, waiting for him to propose to her for a year. The following on screen romance and their marriage is accompanied by a background score with one of the finest lyrics I have ever heard:

sattunu nanaindhadhu nenjam,
sarkarai aagudhu kanneer,
inbum inbum oru thunbam, oru thunbathil ethannai perinbam...

udalukkul malligai thooral,
en uyirukkul valliya thedal,
sukamaaai...
sukamai sukamai kollai yadi,
en uyirai mattum vittu vidu...

intha vaasal varai kaadhal nadanthu varum endru kaatru kidenthen,
athu vaanil paranthu vanthu koorai therandhu varum endru indru thelindhen..

thaavi vandhu ennai anaitha podhu endhan salli vergal arunthen,
saavin ellai varai sendru nindru indru rendu jenmam anaindhein..

thudikkum udhadu kondu thodaithidu vekkathai,
anaippu in adhikathaal veliyethu achchathai..
(These 6 lines are my favourite)

sukumai sukamai kollaiyadi,
en uyirai mattum vittu vidu...

sattunu nenaidhadhu nenjam

Scene 2:
The opening shot of the movie – the typical Mani Ratnam style opening with 10 minutes of movie and then the title with background score – another set of heart melting lyrics:

Vellai pookkal ulagam engum malargavey!
Vidiyum bhoomi amaithikkaga vidigavey!
Manmael manjal velichcham vizhugavey!
Malarey soambal muriththu ezhugavey!

Kuzhandhai vizhikkattumae, thaayin kadhakadhappil
Ulagam vidiyattumey, Pillayin siru mudhal sirippil...
(these 2 lines are definitely my favourite; so much meaning in the context of the movie)

Kaatrin paerisayum,
Mazhai paadum paadalgalum,
Oru mounam, poal inbam, tharumo? (wow)

Kodi keerthanamum
Kavi koartha vaarthaigalum,
Thuli kanneer, poal artham, tharumo? (wow)

Engu siru kuzhandhai,
Than kaigal neettidumo,
Angu thoandraayo, vellai, nilavey!

Engu manidha inam,
Poar oindhu saaindhidumo,
Angu koovaayo, vellai, kuyile!

It is for the first time in my life, I regret for not having taken Tamil (tamizh) as my higher language in school. Of course, I did learn Hindi and I’m able to manage it well, but it is always easier to appreciate the richness of mother tongue than any other language. English is the language I know the best, I do appreciate it, but still there hasn’t yet been a moment in my life, where I have come across a few lines of an English poem/ song that I would say has struck a chord with my soul.

I guess its time to get back and read some Tamil literature J

No pains, no gains

After a 6 month hiatus, the gym I hit;
the touch of iron and the smell of sweat.

Felt wat I had missed, the same familiar pain;
but this time I know its not gonna be in vain.

Some say it's insane to train with so much pain;
but I hear Arnold say - no pain, no gain.

I see many builders - big and small;
but I ignore them and move towards a wall.

As I lift the weights,I see my muscles move in the mirror;
I feel and know that I have the superpower.

After a 6 month hiatus, the gym I hit;
I know I am gonna be a SUPERHIT.

My ticket to moon just got cancelled

Having my breakfast, as I watch the headlines "Chandrayaan-1 develops critical malfunction", my mind shifts to a scene 8 months before - "Chandrayaan launched". I still remember reading news articles which said that people would soon start (or had already started) buying and selling land on moon, predicting that the prices would appreciate, so that when man eventually landed there one day to begin his life, they would become billionaires. Very soon, I also read an article "when the bubble burst", about the burst of the investment banks and insolvency of Lehman Brothers. I couldn’t stop correlating the two, both being cases of man’s greed, cases of trading practically intangible assets. It is in this context that I become dumbstruck in total awe of human mind’s imagination – to make a ‘surreal’ concept look ‘so real’, and when the bubble bursts, sit in utter dismay wondering how it really happened.

USD 80 MIO is the expected budget of Chandrayaan project. A report says almost 50% of Indians are below poverty line. I am a 'much above average citizen' of the country and the news of Chandrayaan has made no impact on me. I wonder what impact this expenditure would make to the majority of the Indians. May be in the long run it would, but I guess at least for the present it would be more prudent to have more of government expenditure for the people and collaborate with other countries than compete with them in sending rockets - ‘Indian made rockets’ - to space which eventually fail (fall). I don’t have fingers in my hand to count the number of failed ISRO ventures – most of them, may be all of them have been re-inventing the wheel type, rather than path breaking. In a country like ours where millions are starving in abject poverty, resource allocation should be more meaningful.

But alas! This place called Earth is crazy, so are the earthlings – the only reason I see to conduct these experiments, so that people tired of this planet and its inhabitants can flee to Mars or Moon or wherever life is deemed possible. But again, will those people tired of Earth get the chance, when it eventually comes?